i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
