I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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