After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
