i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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