Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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