but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
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I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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