Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
