I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
