Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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