So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize