I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
