aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
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You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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