her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
foreskin is a definite game changer
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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