she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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