Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Jerry, you need to find god
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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