How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
His hands were made for my vagina.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
