But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
