i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
