Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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