carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
