Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
