Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
