Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
