So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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