:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There r osticjed everywhere
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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