Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
