ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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