is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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