Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
