the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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