I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.