First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
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By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is