whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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