it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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