if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
