go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
