I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Who died my cat blue again?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
