we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize