i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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