isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
