Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
