Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
send nudes
from the living room?
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