would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
