I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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