porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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