I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
