when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
