Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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