I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
