chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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