Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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(509): View more from Washington

after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery

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(407): View more from Florida

i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .

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(773): View more from Illinois

I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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(815): View more from Illinois

If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

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(847): View more from Illinois

He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us

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(909): View more from California

I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?

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