my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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