your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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