Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
