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I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
