We're like a lot better than the average bears
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
