We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
