Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
