Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
