the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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